’tis the season…

So, I realize the silence has not been broken. Until now. Things are starting to look up. To give just a few updates, Thanksgiving was good. We spent it with my family in po-dung country. It was a little strange, however, since my grandparents weren’t there. The Saturday after, however, I had to shoot a wedding in Colorado Springs. Now, they knew for a fact I do NOT want to shoot weddings for a living. I think I would rather scoop elephant poop. But I did it for two reasons:

1. We really needed the money with Christmas coming up and the trip to see D’s family.

2. The groom is a semi-distant relative who is a professional photographer who was willing to let me do a little assisting for him and more or less show me the ropes.

Why was I so down about it then? Well, he didn’t mention that the bride was a photographer, too. And although I had mention that I was only in my second quarter of studies, I got a pretty harsh review after the photos had been presented. I was more or less told I had no talent and no chance in the photography business. Needless to say, I took it pretty harshly. I was feeling like I couldn’t accomplish anything at that point, so why continue. However, I stuck to my guns and finished out the quarter.

This quarter turned out to be very eye-opening for me. Not only did I realize that I love doing editorial and studio work, I realized that I could do this. I’ve always been passionate about photography, but this quarter really confirmed it for me that this really is what I want to do for a living. College the first time put doubts in my head as to weather or not school was really even for me or not. I found out it actually was.

As a matter of fact, I just got done checking my grades. They were finally posted today, since finals ended on Friday. I got all A’s, and kept my 3.9 GPA. I made the Dean’s List! Oh, and did I mention I also had perfect attendance?

I did keep my streak going, though. Second to last week of the quarter, I got sick again. Now, if you’ll remember, last time I got that viral pharyngitis crap that gave me ear infections and the whole works. It wasn’t as bad this time, but again had impeccable timing. I hope my body won’t go against me like this every quarter. No, at least this time I just got the hives and had a neck the size of an elephants trunk. It was an interesting feeling, but not one I’d ever like to have again.

So now, I’m enjoying my Christmas break: Reading (already read two books, and we’re only 3 days in), putting in extra hours at work, and just really enjoying being at home. I haven’t been able to keep my house this clean in weeks! Christmas is now right around the corner, a week from today, to be exact. Still seems a little early, but we’re ready for it, I think. All but one present has arrived and is wrapped and ready to go. I’m excited about getting to see D’s family. We haven’t seen them since we moved, well other than quick weekend trips down there (one made by each of us on seperate occasions – and for business). Sophie is talking up a storm and potty trained now, too! Life is moving way too fast.

I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately. Mostly Christmas, but there is one song in particular that I keep coming back to. Yours to Hold, by Skillet. It’s almost like I’m living the words lately, but I’m forgetting to listen to them. Does that even make sense?

I see you standing here
But you’re so far away
Starving for your attention
You don’t even know my name
You’re going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you

Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold

I’m stretching but you’re just out of reach
You should know
I’m ready when you’re ready for me
And I’m waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I’m yours to hold

I guess I’m just struggling with my faith lately, and not really sure how to get it back. I just feel stuck. I’m sure I’ll eventually find my way…


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